When To Let Go

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People change. You change. Some relationships just aren’t meant to last beyond a certain point. Unfortunately. It’s sometimes easier to let the relationship continue out of inertia unless there’s a strong catalyst to change, which means some people keep up friendships that should really be retired.

One of the best things about adulthood is that you meet people who share your specific interests and intellectual verve. Often what you end up with is a situation where your school or childhood friends are part of an important emotional history, but some of them do not seem as interesting as newer friends you are meeting. What to do?

Certainly you should do something, because you won’t have the time or energy  to cultivate new friendships if you relentlessly hold on to old ones. It’s that digital camera again, you won’t have the space on your hard drive. But unlike with a digital camera, the right move isn’t to actively ‘delete’ friendships you wish not to keep up. Rather, it’s okay to simply let those friendships fade. This is a natural evolution of some relationships. Even if people go in different directions and the friendships slowly peters out, trust can endure. Unlike romantic relationships, with friendships there’s rarely a reason to have a full on breakup. And unlike most exes, it is possible to rekindle / reactivate friendships later on when your lives are more aligned.

Many relationships fade unknowingly and unfortunately. Actively maintain the relationships you value, and consciously let fade those you do not.

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